I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
