just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
These tits shall not be calmed
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
