I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I pour the whiskey from now on
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
