Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
