Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
