If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
