That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
