I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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