lets start a swedish sibling band together
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
