I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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