Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
