All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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