Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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