Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
