Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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