Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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