was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
