Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
