I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
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