i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
