Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
