Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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