I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
