I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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