dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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