Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
