He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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