Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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