Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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