So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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