After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
