If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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