Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
