She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
