We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
