It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
