Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
