If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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