**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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