So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
