i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
