Your face is a jimmy john
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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