College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
