It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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