Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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