Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
