Swine flu. Run for my life!
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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