she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
