piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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