Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
