Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
